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Bahaya-bahaya Kepahitan yang Tak Terampuni

Edisi C3I: e-Konsel 063 - Kepahitan

Ayat hafalan: Matius 6:14-15; Efesus 4:31-32

Kadang-kadang orang berkata dengan marah, "Dia tidak pantas untuk mendapatkan pengampunan dari saya. Apa yang dia telah lakukan sama sekali tidak dapat diampuni. Faktanya, dia cuma seorang yang tolol." Mungkin benar bahwa orang ini tidak pantas memperoleh pengampunan Anda, tetapi pertanyaan yang riil adalah: Apakah Anda merindukan kesehatan mental dan fisik? Apakah Anda menginginkan damai di pikiran Anda? atau Apakah Anda menginginkan konsekuensi logis akibat memendam iri hati dan mengabadikan kepahitan Anda?

Depresi yang pahit

Marilah kita mulai dengan mengamati kemarahan itu sendiri. Kemarahan adalah sebuah reaksi emosional yang membutuhkan energi. Kemarahan itu sendiri pada dasarnya tidak buruk, karena hal itu dapat bersifat sangat konstruktif. Alkitab mengatakan, "Dalam kemarahanmu (boleh saja marah), jangan berbuat dosa ..." (Ef. 4:26). Hal itu memberitahukan kepada kita tentang apa yang kita dapat lakukan dengan kemarahan yang dapat menjadi buruk.

Anda biasanya merasakan kemarahan yang benar ketika hak-hak pribadi yang Allah berikan kepada Anda itu terancam atau diganggu. Satu contoh, apabila Anda merasa hak Anda untuk dianggap sebagai pasangan yang eksklusif dalam suatu relasi diganggu oleh ketidaksetiaan dari pasangan pernikahan Anda.

Marah yang benar lainnya adalah pada saat keyakinan pribadi Anda diganggu atau terancam. Tuhan Yesus marah beberapa kali, sebagaimana dicatat dalam Alkitab. Dia menyembuhkan seorang pria pada hari Sabat orang Yahudi. Orang Farisi mengkritik Dia, karena mereka pikir Dia telah melanggar peraturan penting tentang tidak bekerja pada hari Sabat. Yesus melihat sekeliling mereka dengan marah dan Dia menyatakan keyakinan-Nya, "Hari Sabat dibuat untuk manusia, bukan manusia untuk hari Sabat" (baca Mar. 2:27-3:6).

Kapankah terakhir Anda marah? Apakah itu karena hak atau keyakinan pribadi yang diganggu atau terancam? Apa yang Anda lakukan dengan kemarahan Anda sejak kejadian itu? Anda dapat berbuat dosa dengan kemarahan Anda ketika Anda melakukan dua ekstrem -- meledak atau bungkam.

"Meledakkan" kemarahan adalah mencampuradukkan kemarahan yang baik dengan motif pembalasan dendam. Hal ini akan menghasilkan sebuah tindakan baru yang disebut "permusuhan" di mana jalan penyelesaiannya dengan penganiayaan fisik atau dengan bertindak kasar (seperti membanting pintu atau menyetir mobil dengan ceroboh atau gegabah), lalu memperlihatkan kemarahan. Kita juga memperlihatkan kemarahan dengan kata-kata kita, penggunaan ungkapan merendahkan, menyebut nama, berteriak, kejengkelan, ancaman-ancaman, sindiran, dan bahkan "perilaku bungkam" yang bermusuhan. Kita memegang "cambuk" di tangan kita, lalu berbicara dan membalas musuh-musuh kita. Kita menginginkan dia disakiti setimpal (lebih) dengan dia menyakiti kita.

Ekstrem yang lainnya adalah "bungkam." Gaya ini meliputi sikap membisu terhadap perasaan marah kita dan terus menyimpan iri hati atau ketidakrelaan. Maka kemarahan itu menjadi kepahitan. Hal ini memengaruhi kesehatan kita. Selain itu, kebungkaman juga dapat berubah menjadi depresi dan bahkan membawa kepada pikiran untuk bunuh diri. Semua ini mendukacitakan Tuhan, karena ini merintangi persekutuan kita dengan-Nya. Motif menyimpan iri hati, sama halnya dengan suatu permusuhan yang terbuka -- pembalasan dendam. Kita mengatakan, "Saya tidak akan bersikap baik pada orang itu sampai saya melihat bahwa bagaimanapun juga, dialah yang menyebabkan saya menderita. Saya akan menjauh darinya. Saya akan mencibir dan menghina dia." Hal ini mungkin tidak terjadi secara langsung pada orang lain, tetapi ini akan "menghabisi" kesehatan Anda sendiri, keseimbangan emosional, dan semangat Anda.

Saudara-saudaraku yang kekasih, janganlah kamu sendiri membalas dendam, tetapi berilah tempat kepada murka Allah. Sebab, ada tertulis, “Pembalasan adalah hak-Ku, Akulah yang akan membalasnya,” firman Tuhan. (Roma 12:19, AYT)


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Waspadalah terhadap bahaya-bahaya pembalasan dan kepahitan. Yang salah dengan pembalasan sebagai satu motif adalah bahwa bukan tanggung jawab kita untuk menjadi agen Allah dalam menghukum musuh-musuh kita. Allah memerintahkan kita untuk jangan pernah membalas kejahatan dengan kejahatan terhadap semua orang (Rom. 12:17-18). "Saudara-saudaraku yang kekasih, janganlah kamu sendiri membalas dendam, tetapi berilah tempat kepada murka Allah. Sebab, ada tertulis, 'Pembalasan adalah hak-Ku, Akulah yang akan membalasnya,' firman Tuhan" (ayat 19).

Anda mengadakan perhitungan, dan hak-hak Anda memang penting. Seseorang perlu bangkit untuk Anda, tetapi Allahlah yang akan melakukannya. Alihkanlah kepada-Nya dalam doa. Jangan mempermainkan Allah dengan menuntut pembalasan sendiri. Allah mendirikan pemerintahan, maka rencana-Nya itu termasuk penyerahan orang tersebut kepada hukum. Namun, biasanya konflik-konflik antar manusia berada pada dasar yang lebih personal.

Kemarahan itu sendiri adalah sebuah emosi yang "netral". Apa yang kita lakukan dengan kemarahan itu yang menentukan apakah itu akan menjadi kekuatan yang positif atau negatif dalam hidup kita. Kemarahan yang bernilai dapat menjadi satu tanda bahwa sesuatu yang konstruktif dapat muncul dari sebuah situasi. Kemarahan yang tidak bernilai -- tatkala hak pribadi seseorang itu sungguh-sungguh merupakan suatu tuntutan yang mementingkan diri atau yang perfeksionis -- biasanya berdampak negatif dan karena itu tidak seharusnya dituntut, tetapi diserahkan kepada Allah.

 

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Diambil dan disunting seperlunya dari:
Judul buku : The Healthy Christian Life - Kehidupan Kristen yang Sehat
Penulis artikel : Frank Minirth, Paul Meier, Richard Meier
Penerbit : Seminari Alkitab Asia Tenggara, Malang, 2003
Halaman : 113-118
Sumber: e-Konsel 063

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